If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Thoreau

As children, we learned to behave (or at least appeared to behave) in ways calculated to gain the approval of parents or authority figures the ones with the stuff. It made sense then to toe the line for the people with the power to affect your life. If, however, youre still trying to get approval from others, you might want to ask yourself Whose life is it anyway?

Its Your Life! Are you marching to your own drummer? Are you are directing your life in accordance with your own unique desires? Are you living your life in your own way? When you realize its YOUR Life, you are no longer influenced by what other people think. When you realize its YOUR Life, you feel the joy of following your own heart. When you realize its YOUR Life, you are fully empowered and truly free.

Trust that you have a source of unfailing guidance within you at all times and decide to live in accordance with this inner wisdom. Trust your internal compass and ignore the influence of others, no matter how well-meaning they may be. As you become deeply convinced that an inner knowing is always available to you and you listen to your "still small voice," you will know whats right for you and will be able to tune out the advice or criticism of others.

Relax and Enjoy. I woke up one morning with a very clear message: You have lived millions of lifetimes before this one. You will live millions of lifetimes after this one. Why not relax and enjoy your life now?

Following this guidance, I have been able to relax and enjoy my own life in my own way. Following this guidance, I have been able to realize that:

there is nothing to fear

there is nothing to prove

there is no one I need to please or impress.

What Do YOU Want? I recently talked with a 33 y.o. woman who had been living with her boyfriend for two years and desperately wanted the relationship to move to the next level marriage and kids. Concerned that he did not want these things, she was considering leaving him and starting all over. I suggested she ask herself two questions: "What do you really want?" and "Why do you want it?" Deeply meditating on these questions, she realized that she had been responding to expectations from society in general and her mother in particular. She realized that what she really wants is to enjoy her life and be happy now, which means continuing her relationship with this man. With her newfound clarity, she took her life back and now feels the joy of living her life in her way.

So, ask yourself: Am I doing something or wanting something because of a desire that comes from inside or because of an expectation that comes from outside? When you start asking these questions, you might be amazed at the extent to which you have been living your life for the approval of others.

As someone who has spent her life trying to please others, I can tell you that the transient happiness that comes from pleasing the boss or the husband or the friend or the parent is a poor substitute for the absolute happiness that comes from living your life in a way that pleases you.

If you're trying to please others, you'll never be happy. If you're living someone elses version of your life, you'll never be free. So, ask yourself Whose life is it anyway?