Some clients are well aware of their own hearts desires; some are not. I am often aware that when clients begin to work with me, I believe more in their magnificence than they do, so I hold a space for them to step into their magnificence. My meaning of the phrase hearts desires is the accumulation of all the preferences related to a specific subject. For example, there are hearts desires for living space, for job or career, for a partner, for adventure, etc. I intentionally use the plural (desires) because there are always different aspects of any subject with corresponding desires. Some clients try to convince me how bad or difficult a particular situation is. They argue for their non-magnificence. I interrupt that pattern as quickly as possible, which I do for their sake as well as my own. If Im dragged down into the pit theyre in, then I cant offer a helping hand or a different point of view. In most cases, my greatest value to clients is that I have a different perspective. The clients who utilize my skills the most effectively are the ones who ask me what I see from my vantage point. Of course, I often confirm what they see, which means that I can connect with their perspective. However, if this is a perspective that disempowers them, I dont join in energizing the perspective. Instead, I use my ability to see what they see and then re-frame the idea so that its more empowering. Im not at all invested in making my clients agree with me. Im quite satisfied to offer a perspective that they can consider or even push against. Its very common that clients resist or disagree with a perspective when I first offer it and then many weeks or months later say that they now understand. There also are times when clients consider what I say and then use my suggestion to reach yet another opinion or decision. Im far more invested in helping clients find their power from within than agreeing with me. I do find that when a client argues strongly with me, that is not healthy for the client or for the relationship. Some people like to argue. I find, generally, that people who like to argue are usually arguing for their limitations (not their magnificence), and so they keep themselves stuck in the same patterns. Those who are argumentative tend to be focused on a disempowering duality, such as "good and bad" or "right and wrong." Since I consider that clients hire me to help them to move out of disempowering patterns, arguing is quite unproductive. Vehement arguing puts them deeper into the very situation that is the opposite of their hearts desires. And, quite frankly, it can erode my natural inclination to hold in my consciousness the desires my clients hold in their hearts. |